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Posts published by “Molly Fitzpatrick”

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Jekyll and Bride

I’d like to make one thing very clear: Jennifer is still the worst. That said, every time RHONJ forces me to spend more than 30 seconds immersed in her everyday life, I immediately require five hours of sleep and age by one year.In th...

Riverdale Midseason Finale Recap: The Hot Zone

I’m sorry to say Riverdale has bid us farewell for winter break with one of the dullest episodes in a while. Steel yourself for a lot of people marching into rooms and announcing things while other people (okay, sometimes the same peo...

Jersey Shore Family Vacation Recap: Cruising for a Bruising

All is well in the shore house, now that the 1.5 meatballs that are Deena have returned to the flock. To celebrate, Nicole has planned what she refers to as “a fun adult party,” which, contrary to that description, is not an Eyes Wide...

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: House of 1,000 Bathrooms

What are the holidays for if not spending time with family? And what better way to relish the company of your loved ones than by sharing the possibility that your dad had a secret daughter you never knew about?Melissa passes along Con...

Riverdale Recap: One Flew Over the Gargoyle’s Nest

Archie and Jughead are very much on the lam, though Mr. AP Studio Art still insists on pausing to snap moody photographs of trains and ****. That Archie hasn’t actually become a murderer over the course of the last few days is a credi...

Sonja Morgan’s Improv Comedy Debut Was a *****, Glorious Mess

What isn’t Sonja Morgan? She is a longtime cast member of The Real Housewives of New York City. She is the former wife of J. Pierpont Morgan’s great-grandson. She is an international fashion lifestyle brand. She is a gourmet toaster-o...

Jersey Shore Family Vacation Recap: Meatball’s Eleven

I’m so thrilled to tell you that the 2040 reboot of MTV’s What Was Once the Jersey Shore But Has Been Desperately Eroded by Climate Change So Now All We Have Is This Makeshift Floating Island Fashioned from Reclaimed Boardwalk Pranks ...

The Real Housewives of Dallas Season Finale Recap: The Peaceful *****

**** has frozen over, pigs are flying, She by Shereé joggers have hit the shelves, and LeeAnne and Rich have officially set a date!They’ll be united in holy matrimony at the modern-art amorphous white space chapel on the ground...

The Real Housewives of Dallas: Friend Probation

It’s probably because we’ve devoted so much time to the D’Andra-LeeAnne feud, but Brandi’s one-sided screaming confrontation with LeeAnne seems a little… abrupt? Not that she doesn’t have her reasons, but it feels like Brandi just rea...

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Home on the Range

Oooooklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin’ down the plain! Any meteorologist here in Tornado Alley could tell you with mathematical certainty that Teresa and Melissa are about to have a big fight. Before she left, Tre called her brot...