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Jordan Jensen Has Muffins for Brains

Photo: Alicia Tatone; Photos courtesy of the subjects.
This week, we’re highlighting 25 talented writers and performers for Vulture’s annual list “The Comedians You Should and Will Know.” Our goal is to introduce a wider audience to the talent that has the comedy community and industry buzzing. (You can read more about our methodology at the link above.) We asked the comedians on the list to answer a series of questions about their work, performing, goals for the future, and more. Next up is Jordan Jensen.

Tell us a story from your childhood you think explains why you ended up becoming a comedian.
I was raised in a barn by two carpenters. One time when I was little, my mom made me oatmeal that was full of mealworms, and the whole bowl was moving. I don’t remember if I took a bite or not. It’s all a blur. What unscripted or reality series do you think you’d excel at? What archetype do you think you’d be?
The Osbournes. I would be Ozzy, and Ian would be Sharon. I am always lost, and he is a lunatic. What’s your proudest achievement of your comedy career so far?
Getting passed at the Comedy Cellar, Opening for Louis C.K. at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, and starting a podcast with my best friend. What have you learned about your own joke-writing process that you didn’t know when you started?
I link jokes together by accident and need to actively remember to pull them apart and look at each chunk separately or else, lest I doom myself to keep fat where it should be lipoed. Tell us everything about your worst show ever. (This can involve venue, audience, other comedians on the lineup, anything!)
The worst show I ever did was for two people on a rooftop with winds going at 50 miles per hour, only to find that the audience members I was screaming at did not speak English. Let’s say we live in a “Kings of Catchphrase Comedy” alternate dimension where every single comedian is required to have a hit catchphrase. What’s yours and why?
“What was I just saying?” I lose my train of thought constantly, and I have muffins for brains. Nominate one comedian you don’t know personally you think is overdue for wider recognition and why you’re a fan of their work.
I know everyone I think is good personally. I would like to see this kid named John Kennedy on every lineup. He is a silly boy. When it comes to your comedy opinions — about material, performing, audience, trends you want to kill/revive, the industry, etc. — what hill will you die on?
Don’t wear sandals onstage. If you had to come onstage to just one song for the rest of your life, what song would it be and why?
I would come out to “Antpile” by Kublai Khan TX, because I don’t see a world in which I would get bored by it. What is the best comedy advice, and then the worst comedy advice, you’ve ever received, either when you were starting out or more recently?
The best advice I have ever gotten is right before I did my first show at a club. The manager walked by me and said, “Have fun.” I was so nervous that I had forgotten that concept. I haven’t gotten bad advice, but the second-best advice I have ever gotten is, “You don’t get to choose what type of comedian you are.” I think about that every day.

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